February 7, 2008 Issue

THE WIDOW AND THE RANCH HAND

A successful rancher died and left everything to his
devoted wife. She was very good-looking woman and determined to keep the
ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad
in the newspaper for a ranch hand.

Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the
other a drunk.

She thought long and hard about it, and when no one
else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to
have him around the house than the drunk. He proved to be a hard worker who put
in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching.

For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was
doing very well.

Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired
hand, "You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You
should go into town and kick up your heels."

The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.

One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return. Two
o'clock and no hired hand. Finally he returned around two-thirty, and upon
entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace
with a glass of wine waiting for him.

She quietly called him over to her. "Unbutton my
blouse and take it off," she said. Trembling, he did as she directed. "Now take
off my boots." He did as she asked, ever so slowly. "Now take off my
socks."

He removed each piece gently and placed them neatly by her
boots. "Now take off my skirt." He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly
watching her eyes in the fire light. "Now take off my bra." Again, with trembling
hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.

Then she looked at him and said, "If you ever wear my
clothes into town again, you're fired."

(Yeah, we didn't see it coming, either)

(Top)