New Words for the New Year
January 4, 2004 Issue

The Washington Post’s Style Invitational once again asked
readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding,
subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts
until you realize it was your money to start with.

2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people
that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer,
unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

5. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders
the subject . financially impotent for an indefinite period.

6. Girafiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

9. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra
credit.)

11. Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off
all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth
explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the
day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem
smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic . t (n.): The frantic dance performed just after
you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets
into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be
cast out.

17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after . nding half a grub
in the fruit you’re eating.

And the pick of the literature:
18. Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.

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