No One Can Save Premonition
Sandra Bullock, Julian McMahon

Review by Breanne Boland March 22, 2007 Issue

Premonition is about two-thirds of an inoffensively mediocre suspense flick. Unfortunately, the crap third is at the very end, meaning an unsatisfying and illogical ending is what stays in your mind as the credits start.

Sandra Bullock, who perhaps did not finish reading the script before accepting this role, plays Linda Hanson, a seemingly happy mother of two who keeps house while her husband works as a car salesman. In the middle of one average day, a sheriff knocks on the Hanson’s door, informing Linda that her husband was killed in a car accident. She plunges into grief, wondering how she’ll go on, wondering about the practicalities.

When she wakes up the next morning, her husband is alive again. The next morning: dead. Over the span of a mixed up week, she has to piece together what happened and then decide if she’s going to save her husband. Unfortunately, some of what she finds out makes her debate whether their marriage and the life she thought they had together is worth fighting for.

The film isn’t high art, but it’s amusing enough until the film only has a couple of days left. This is when the audience realizes, with more horror than the film itself can provide, “Oh, no. They’re not going to explain some of this. It wasn’t something deliberately left vague, to be revealed as time goes on — it just doesn’t make any damn sense!” The movie would be best served if it were treated as a Choose Your Own Adventure story. Watch the first 90-odd minutes, then retreat to the lobby, possibly with crayons and other writing materials, to construct your own ending. Most likely it will be more satisfying and more reasonable than the film’s actual conclusion.

As an added bonus, you’ll get to escape from the looming, booming score, which is must have included a note to crescendo approximately every sixteen bars. Note to director Mennan Yapo: sometimes something is more jarring if you don’t use the camera AND the score to say, “Hi ho there audience, I’m about to do something crazy to you! Can you handle it?” Yapo wants you to remember that every action — laundry, examining Pop-Tarts — could be a clue. This basket of clothespins could be the key to her husband’s fate. Or this half-finished puzzle. Or this conspicuously striped sweater. Quick, summon the violins!

Worst of all is that in a film whose very substance relies on meticulous attention to detail, the plot is riddled with holes — matters unaddressed at the end, conclusions that don’t make sense based on the structure of the film, and situations that come out of nowhere and return there with nary a whimper. In the hands of the capable and focused, nonlinear storytelling can be brilliant and thrilling — see Memento or Pulp Fiction. Alas, the folks behind Premonition focused more on making the audience jump or feel slightly queasy than they did on making the story make sense.

Bottom line: senseless and feckless

Coming Attractions:
March 23
TMNT - The phrase “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” probably brings a shudder of dread or glee, depending on your age, but those willing to dismiss the film altogether should remember that this goes back to the franchise’s comic book roots, which were much darker than the action figures suggest.

Reign Over Me - Adam Sandler’s dramatic ambitions, take three! Sandler plays a man who lost his family on September 11th. After a chance meeting with his college roommate, played by Don Cheadle, he begins to work through his grief. The film focuses much more on emotional issues than on exploiting the terrorist attack.

The Hills Have Eyes II - Mutants. Torture. Slaughter. Gore. Etc. This time it’s a bunch of National Guard trainees in the desert, which includes characters with names like PFC Missy, PFC Amber, and PFC Stump.

March 30
Blades of Glory - Will Ferrell and Jon “Napoleon Dynamite” Heder in spandex might sound less like comedy gold than tremendous laziness, but brilliant couple Will Arnett and Amy Poehler are also in this figure skating comedy. Also, “figure skating comedy” is the most unlikely phrase in this fortnight’s column.

The Lookout - Joseph Gordon-Levitt used to just be the dippy kid on Third Rock From the Sun, but in the last couple of years he’s put out a pair of great films and has revealed himself to be someone to watch. He plays a young man facing brain damage after an injury who gets roped into robbing the bank that employs him.

Meet the Robinsons - Based on a well-regarded children’s book. A boy genius creates a device to recover a lost memory, but a nefarious villain steals it. In his quest to retrieve it, a stranger who takes him on a journey through time and discovers that the future needs his help joins him.

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