Think “Clueless,” in Hell

By Adam Pope
October 1, 2009 Issue

I realize that Juno, Diablo Cody’s first screenwriting effort, was a huge success with a massive cult following. That being said, there is an equally large following that thought the movie was overrated and teetering on the brink of being complete fodder. I belong to the latter. The concept and story of Juno were promising enough, and the soundtrack is almost ingenious, but the writing and dialogue of the film were so over-the-top and smug that it made it easy for the good qualities of the film to get overlooked. Cody’s sophomore effort is a complete 180 from the cutesy putdowns and cheeky retorts of Juno, and Jennifer’s Body is a film that lets you realize that Cody is talented and is developing a unique style of screenwriting, Teen Colloquial. This style is finally showcased in a way that works, where the dialogue is complimentary to onscreen antics, not the other way around.

The town of Devil’s Kettle is a slice of small town America—small school, two restaurants, one bar, and a waterfall that may or may not drain into another dimension. Go ahead and read that line again, I’ll wait. The waterfall seems to gather and pull into this swirling vortex that scientists in the film enjoy sending sensors down that never seem to end up anywhere. We soon find ourselves confronted with Jennifer (Megan Fox of Transformers) and Needy (Mamma Mia!’s Amanda Seyfried), the school beauty and her faithful sidekick, though the traditional roles are reversed and the brunette is the hot one and the blonde second fiddle.

After a concert at the local bar ends in a disastrous fire, Jennifer decides to ditch Needy and take a ride with the boys of Low Shoulder, an indie band trying desperately to make it big. Jennifer soon finds herself on the bad end of the emo version of a Faustian agreement as the band decides to sacrifice a virgin in exchange for popularity. There’s only one hiccup—Megan Fox is not a virgin! As it turns out, if you botch a satanic agreement, the victim returns as a demon that needs to eat people in order to stay beautiful. Luckily, there is no shortage of easily duped male teenagers in Devil’s Kettle, all too eager for a roll in the hay with Jennifer. After a series of gruesome murders, Needy soon finds herself forced to step in and play savior.

When she’s not overdoing the dialogue, Cody can lay some incredible lines on an audience such as, “He was skinny and twisted and evil like this petrified tree I saw when I was kid!” or “Hell is a teenaged girl.” Unfortunately, to get to these gems you have to sit through a flood of inane pseudo-witticism such as, “You’re so Jell-O.” Though it has Cody’s flair for going overboard, the writing is fresh and often poignant and serves as a perfect complement to the deliciously stratospheric. And here is the surprise of the century—Megan Fox can actually act a little. There are a number of great performances, particularly Adam Brody as Nikolai, Low Shoulder’s wicked lead singer, and J.K. Simmons as an overly emotional teacher. The direction and camerawork aren’t anything special, but the mood and tone makes this a solid effort from director Karyn Kusama (Girlfight). The film is, at its core, a dark comedy forged in the fires of hell and tempered with the torture of high school. Don’t let Juno dissuade you from checking out one of the surprise sleeper gems of the year.

‘SCUSE ME WHILE I EAT THE SKY
Christopher Miller and Phil Lord's animated film Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs is based on a popular children's book by Judi and Ron Barrett. I got a big kick out of this movie, not just because it's food-themed. The film is part sci-fi, part fantasy, and part wisecracking 'toon comedy. There's also a deftly handled message for kids about the price of not fitting in and the importance of following your passions.

As with most animated stuff coming out of Hollywood today, Meatballs is top quality from soup to nuts. The animation has an intentionally clunky Saturday morning kiddie cartoon feel to it, but with adult sophistication. The dialogue is fast and snappy, the kind that takes several hearings to catch all the jokes. Ditto the visuals. It's like poring over a well-illustrated children's book—you need to take your time.

The story is original but familiar. Nerdy science geek Flint Lockwood (voiced by Bill Hader) has been an outsider all his life. He can't invent something that is both functional and useful—his mistakes include a Monkey Thought Translator, a Remote Control TV (it walks to you so you can change the dial yourself), and Ratbirds ("Who knew how fast they'd breed?"). Finally, he devises a way to create food from plain water. A series of mishaps rockets his invention into outer space. The result is a sort of Food Satellite, circling the earth and capable of receiving computer-sent orders. Flint can feed the world from the skies. He's an international hero.

Of course, the invention goes haywire, and the air is soon filled with giant wieners, pizza typhoons, and deluges of pasta bolognese. Flint's budding romance with nerdy weathercaster Sam Sparks (voiced by Anna Faris) is put on hold while the two rush to save the planet from an All-You-Can-Eat Apocalypse. Helping them are a beefy cop (voiced by Mr. T), Flint's inarticulate but supportive father Tim (voiced by James Caan) and Steve, the talking monkey (voiced by Neil Patrick Harris). Other celeb voices include Bruce Campbell, Benjamin Bratt, Lauren Graham and Al Roker. Don't just drop off the kids—get a ticket yourself and see what happens When Food Goes Bad.
- Bruce Collier

Next Beachcomber: Zombies, roller derby queens and other fun stuff.


HENRY GIBSON, 1935-2009
“They can’t do this to us here in Nashville! Let’s show ‘em what we’re made of. Come on, everybody—sing! Somebody, sing!”
- As Haven Hamilton in Robert Altman’s Immortal Classic Nashville (1975)

CALL TO FILMMAKERS
Northwest Florida filmmakers are invited to participate in a “Halloween Film Festival” competition sponsored by the Production Services Association of Northwest Florida.

Filmmakers of all ages and skill levels are encouraged to produce a short film in the “fright” genre—horror, suspense thriller, science fiction/fantasy, scary comedy or Halloween themed. Deadline for submissions is Oct. 28. All movies that meet requirements will be screened on Oct. 31, Halloween, at the Cinema Plus theater in downtown Fort Walton Beach. The submission requirements are:

No entry fee required.
Participants do not need to be members of the PSA of NWF to compete.
The finished movie must be 2 to 9 minutes in length, including opening titles and closing credits.
The movie must be in 16:9 widescreen format and submitted on DVD or as a video file (AVI, MOV, or MPEG format) on disc or flash drive.
No copyrighted materials can be used without proof of ownership or letter of permission (buy-out music or stock footage/graphics is permitted).
Submissions must include talent and location releases.
The movie must be rated between “G” and “PG-13,” based on www.MPAA.com guidelines.
The PSA of NWF reserves the right to refuse an entry for poor production values (lighting, audio, script, editing, continuity, etc.).

Judging will be handled in three tiers. Moviegoers will participate in the judging at the Halloween Day screening. The movies will then be available for online judging Nov. 1-10. A panel of PSA members who are not participants in the competition will provide the final judging round. The winners will be determined from the results from all three judging rounds.

Winners will be announced Nov. 11 at the public meeting of the Production Services Association of Northwest Florida, held at Fokkers Sports Pub in downtown Fort Walton Beach, starting at 6 p.m. Along with bragging rights, prizes will be awarded for first, second, and third place winners as well as honorable mentions.

Filmmakers of all ages and skill levels are encouraged to participate. “This is going to be a great event,” says RJ Murdock, president of the PSA of NWF. “I’m looking forward to seeing what kind of talent the Emerald Coast has to offer.”

For more information about the “Halloween Film Festival” competition, please contact Murdock at (850) 244-7100 or info@psanwf.com. For more information about the Production Services Association, visit www.psanwf.com.

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