Hu’s on First
December 5, 2002 Issue
By James Sherman

(We take you now to the Oval Office.)

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you.
Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading
China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is
leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
George: That's who's name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me
the name of the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China?
I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the
name of the new leader of China. Get
me the Secretary General of the U.N.
on the phone.
Condi: Kofi ?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi ?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi ?
George: No. But now that you mention it,
I could use a glass of milk. And
then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi ?
George: Milk! Will you please make the
call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East!
Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi .
George: All right! With cream and two
sugars. Now get on the phone.
(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condi: Rice, here.
George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple
of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should
send some to the guy in China. And
the Middle East. Can you get Chinese
food in the Middle East?

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