How To Stay Awake In Meetings—Offered As A Public Service

May 4, 2006 Issue

Do you keep falling asleep in meetings and seminars? What about those long and boring conference calls? Here's a way to change all of that.

1. Before (or during) your next meeting, seminar, or conference call, prepare yourself by drawing a square. I find that 5" x 5" is a good size. Divide the card into columns--five across and five down. That will give you 25 one-inch blocks.

2. Write one of the following words or phrases in each block:

synergy

strategic fit

core competencies

best practice

bottom line

revisit

expeditious

to tell you the truth (or "the truth is")

24/7

out of the loop

benchmark

value-added

proactive

win-win

think outside the box

fast track

result-driven

empower (or empowerment)

knowledge base

at the end of the day

touch base

mindset

client focus(ed)
paradigm

game plan

leverage

3. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words or phrases.

4. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, stand up and shout bulls*hit!

Testimonials from satisfied Bullsh*t Bingo" players:

"I had been in the meeting for only five minutes when I won." - Adam W., Atlanta

"My attention span at meetings has improved dramatically." - David T., Florida

"What a gas! Meetings will never be the same for me after my first win." Dan J., New York City

"The atmosphere was tense in the last process meeting as 14 of us waited for the fifth box." - Ben G., Denver

"The speaker was stunned as eight of us screamed bullsh*t for the third time in two hours. The Bullsh*t Bingo Championship will be played at the next meeting."

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