August 21, 2008 Issue

Many times, when reading interviews with well-known people, I am amazed at their reply to a standard question. When asked if they would have done anything differently or if they have any regrets about their past, the answer is as common as it is shocking. “I wouldn’t have done anything differently. I have no regrets.”

What a level of luxury that must be. What kind of hubris must one possess to really believe that their life couldn’t have been improved?

I would have changed thousands of things in my life.

I would have learned to play the piano. I would have learned to speak French. I would have learned more about mechanics and engines and carpentry. It would be nice to know something about a diesel engine. Life would be less embarrassing if I knew how to hammer a nail or operate a drill.

I wish I had studied more as a young man. I wouldn’t wish for better grades in school, but I do wish I had read more classic literature. Books are available to us at any time, but the ability to comprehend classic works decreases with age. Shakespeare, Milton, and Chaucer are easier to grasp when you are young.

My father used to take the time to clip articles that he thought I would, or should, be interested in and send them to me in giant manila envelopes. He sent me lots of them. I don’t know what I was busy doing, but I was generally too busy to read most of the articles. They were written on subjects as diverse as astronomy, poetry, and politics. I wish I had read them all.

I wish I had spent more time outside. I wish I had taken more walks in the woods. I wish I had started riding horses sooner. I should have spent more days on the water.

I wasted too much time. I wasted too much money. I don’t wish that I had saved more money. But I do wish I had done different things with the money I made.

I wish that everyone I have worked with over the years had become wealthy. Monetarily and otherwise. I wish that I had never spoken a harsh word to an employee. Or a friend. Or a family member. Criticism and arguments have never proved to be very successful in my life. Kind words have been.

I should have learned to respect my elders earlier than I did. Asian cultures have celebrated the knowledge of older people for centuries. I wish I had learned more about Asian religions.

I’m not much of a goal-setter. Setting goals is a foundation of many business primers. I wish I had set less. Setting goals may be able to enhance performance. They can also be stifling. I don’t know what I’ll be doing next month; and I like it that way.

On a local level, I wish I could have helped Destin, a town that I love, shape a more livable future for our people. I wish I could have been a part of helping our fishing fleet have a brighter future. I wish charter boat and commercial fishermen could make decent livings, commensurate with the time and effort they put into their livelihoods. I wish developers had to work harder and fishermen got a little more time off.

I may be the only member of the baby boomer generation who wishes he was older. I would have liked to have been 21 years old in 1968 instead of 13. I would have liked to have been more involved in the civil rights movement. I would have liked to have been in Chicago in 1968 at the democratic convention with my father. I would have liked to have been at Woodstock. I would not have wanted to go to Vietnam.

I wish I had spent more time with my children when they were children. I should have been a better father, husband, and son in more ways than I can count.

We’ve all heard the phrase “The sky’s the limit.” Well, I wish I had known my limits.

If I had my life to live over, would I have changed anything? Yes. Do I have regrets? Yes. Have I learned from my mistakes and my shortcomings and my past? I certainly hope so.

That is enough of a goal for anyone.

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