Old Country Wisdom
August 26, 2004 Issue

• Don't name a pig you plan to eat.
  
  
• Country fences need to be horse high, pig tight, and bull strong.
  
  
• Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce.
  
  
• Keep skunks, lawyers and dentists at a distance.
  
  
• Life is simpler when you plow around the stumps.
  
  
• A bumblebee is faster than a John Deere tractor.
  
  
• Trouble with a milk cow is she won't stay milked.
  
  
• Don't skinny dip with snapping turtles.
  
  
• Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled.
  
  
• Meanness don't happen overnight.
  
  
• To know how country folks are doing, look at their barns, not their houses.
  
  
• Never lay an angry hand on a kid or an animal, it just ain't helpful.
  
  
• Teachers, Moms, and hoot owls sleep with one eye open.
  
  
• Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads.
  
  
• Don't sell your mule to buy a plow.
  
  
• Two can live as cheap as one if one don't eat.
  
  
• Don't corner something meaner than you.
  
  
• You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar—assuming you want to catch flies.
  
  
• Man is the only critter who feels the need to label things as flowers or weeds.
  
  
• It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.
  
  
• Don't go huntin' with a fellow named Chug-A-Lug.
  
  
• You can't unsay a cruel thing.
  
  
• Every path has some puddles.
  
  
• Don't wrestle with pigs: You'll get all muddy and the pigs will love it.
  
  
• The best sermons are lived, not preached.
  
  
• Most of the stuff people worry about never happens.
  
  
• CARPE DIEM - "Seize the Day!"
  

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