Bumper Stickers
March 13, 2003 Issue

•My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was
God and I didn't!

• I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

• I work hard because millions on welfare depend on me!

• Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

• I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

• Don't take life too seriously…no one gets out alive.

• You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

• Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

• Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

• Quoting one is plagiarism; quoting many is research.

• I'm not a complete idiot—some parts are missing.

• Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

• NyQuil—The stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.

• God must love stupid people; he made so many.

• The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

• It IS as BAD as you think and they ARE out to get you.

• Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

• Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

• Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!

• Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up

• Procrastinate now

• My dog can lick anyone

• FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. It comes bundled with the software.

• A hangover is the wrath of grapes

• A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance

• STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere!

• He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead

• The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

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